I got all stressed out and couldnt really enjoy myself. I was f.ing retarded. I regreta little about the place cause it was a tad expensive, i feel that i shouldnt have did it right aft Jap was over cause everything felt like such a rush, I shouldn't have let myself be so stressed about nothing, I just shouldnt have cared about '..' yea. haha I learn from this. To NEVA let my overthinking nature to take over smtg which i could've enjoyed more if i just didnt think.

Anywaaaaays, I finally realize now that there were some moments which i loved and didnt really realize how awesome it was until now.

Thank you

V for EVERYTHING! :))))) the support and for taking care of me. I wouldnt have been able to get thru the whole thing if it werent for you and your motherly instincts. haga. love you V.

Nini for the sash, the drama queen candy and the banner. i love you and all your gifts. Thnx for being there. You're the best.

Drea for coming out with me to get my dress at the very last minute. haha. thnx sweetie paaah! our fantasy *wink hahahahaha. LOTSA LOVE!

Syl for listening all the time. :) and the awesome multicoloured earrings!! i can't wait to get hold of our obscenic pict!! haha.

Chelle Lee for 'good morning birthday girl!'. That really made my morning. haha i love you hunn.

Chelle Lim. I'm so sorry that i forgot about ur earrings at first. I think i was overly panicky and just couldnt think straight. I love them: ) wore it one my brithday day itself. Thnx for being there no matter wht stupid things i do too..

Syaff, Benny, Shen, Steven(you're just freakin awesome:)), Shaun, Juju, Terance, Shep, Jone, Jon, Teng and Leslie, Mun, Soon, Marcus(:) you're a great guy p.s. it's weird tht im so nice to you. haha lotsa love!), Ali, Alfred, Dickson, Jeff, Alvin, Melissa(whom i LOVE) and everybody else for being there. : )

Picts wil be up later on.

*Note to self - will start carrying own camera to everything.

: ) Finally home. Japan was awesome. I had a great trip with my family even though we had some bumps here and there during and before the trip even started but however, I'm really happy about how the whole trip turned out to be. I have lots to tell. Details and pictures and everything. : )) But i'l have to upload the picts first. Once i do, I'l blog about the whole trip in my following posts.

Leaving home for a whole week. okay. for JUST a week, really made me homesick. I'm pathetic. haha and i now know that i'm not a big fan of the cold. Japan was really cold. When i got there, it was about 8 degrees if i'm not mistaken. It got lower and windier each day. It's was torture. Maybe i wasnt prepared for how cold it was going to get. haha i didnt know that it would be that cold. i thought that it would be like a relaxing sorta coldness. not a hardcore, face hurting typa thing. haha and yet, mayb i'm just not use to it. My lips chapped up and up to a certain point, my body got itchy. my skin was so dry that i was itching almost everywhere. This made me hate winter. AND IT WASNT EVEN WINTER YET! it was just the beginning. everytime we head out, my face gets numb, my nose and my mouth area got numb. it was retarted. haha.

Will post about the trip soon after i get all the pictures into the comp.

Lotsa stories to tell. Read on later yea.

Lotsa love.

First picture of the bunch.

On top of Mount Fuji. In pain cause of the cold :)

My emotions have been everywhere for the past few days. I've been over thinking everything.

Hormonal i guess. This happens to me every once a month. and i hate it. sigh.

You're back and we're not exactly talking. I'm not sure how're you but i really wanna knoe how you're doing. I want us to talk like how we use to. We use to talk about anything. Great friends. Pfft. I hope things get better cause i think i need you back in my life. I hate how i feel and how much I'm over analising the whole stupid situation.

I guess one way or another i get it now that i should stop pasturing the people around me. I have to understand that the guy i'm dealing with doesnt talk about his inner enotions that much and from how i know him, he doesnt like talking about his insides. He's hardcore on the outside and soft on the inside. You only let certain people in. I really miss him. I really miss you. Not in a iloveyou manner, but more of a imissus thing. How close we use to be and all.

I'm not gonna force anything or make anything happen. If this is the way it's gonna be, I'm alright with it.

Just to set the record straight, I miss you and i miss us.

Lotsa love.

i feel like blabbling. :)

i guess we all have different goals and what we want to achieve and what we wanna do. and of course why we do the things we do. but sometimes i think we get blurry. you know those type of days where you just arent sure about yourself. where you just think that you have nothing about you that makes u special or makes you who you are. when everything gets messed up.

yea. i had one of those days for a couple of days, a couple of days ago :) and of course i didnt like it. not even one bit. i call it one of my "phases" haha during that duration of time, i did a lot of thinking. too much actually. yea. i hated it. this time, i thought about what i don't have. I'm greedy. i don't know how to appreciate whats in front of me and im always looking for something i don't have. when these phases hit me, i become self concious. doubting practically everything actually. haha i'm a thinker. the downside is, i think about everything unnecessary and irrelevant. yea. i tend to fall of the right track at times. but i do get back on. it's just the matter of time. I'l talk about one of my falling of the track incidence soon. but lets get back to topic.

i think everyone at one point thinks about how much they're worth.

are you worth it?

Being worth it to somebody else's eyes also means living up to their expectations. and i think that's bullshyt. to be able to live up to ur own expectations, that's where it's worth it. that's when you become worth it to yourself. i mean, who the crap cares about what other poeple think about you. it's your life. you're living it for you. and everyone around you are like subtitles to your movie. never let words bring your spirit down. corny. but i try to live by it. it helps me to knoe what i want. instead of following the wind of change. i change by my own terms.

haha. me of all people shouldnt be saying what i just said.

keep reading kay. I WILL UPDATE!

wil blog again about smtg interesting! : ) *pinky swear

i just love this picture.